Cold hands, warm shart.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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