I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
