I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
