i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
