I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You're like the curious george of whores
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
