Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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