I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
