The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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