I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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