garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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