in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
