U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
