I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize