I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
