the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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