would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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