Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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