The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Mom said you looked used
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
