I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Small penises have feelings too.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
