We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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