His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
