i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
