i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
as a side note pls kill me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
