Buhtt sex?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
