I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
