One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My dick has a subreddit
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I need to calm my uterus...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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