I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
