The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
