I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
