i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
