if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
