College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
