so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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