So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize