So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
