Porn is love you can see.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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