would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
