Me too!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
