Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
