Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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