I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
