Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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