those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
