You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
