porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just cropdusted the office
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
