I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
