dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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