she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
