I can't watch pbs sober anymore
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
