She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Even my vagina gasped.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
