Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
