This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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