It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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