so that wasnt chicken after all
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
