Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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