I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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