i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
