This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
