there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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