bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize