omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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