I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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