ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
