she sounds like chewbacca in bed
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
