I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
