haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize