WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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